Gazing into the abyss

A German philosopher once said "If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you"?
After this philosopher’s death, a lot of other people attempted to articulate the sophisticated truth hidden inside this aphorism.

More or less, they came with various definitions which differ from each other.
Fundamentally, the idea behind this quote is- if you are staring into a deep pit for a long time, the pit will be staring back into you by itself.

Every time when I see this quote I feel, the quote has some sort of a relationship with my life.
I am not a philosopher and I am even not a typical literature geek who tries to collect the Dogmas trough out the history.
But somehow my destiny put this phrase at my presence to teach me a valuable lesson of the life, which I haven’t discovered yet.

I still can remember the day that I obsessed with this quote. That was long time ago; I could hardly remember the day it has happened, it was the day that my life has been changed.

I wish I didn’t meet him, I wish I wasn’t there at that time and I wish it never happened. But now it’s all over – there’s no turning back, all I got now is an empty drug bottle with few drops of drug inside.

The Absorption of the Atmosphere

One day in the evening, I was laying on the ground in front of my house, staring at the enormous sky, with an empty feeling of the life. I could barely see a glimpse of a horoscope star sign.
I felt the sky is getting lower and lower, then I was pulled up by the blue sky.

I was absorbed into the massive atmosphere, so I could see the unlimited bounders of the magnificent universe.

Huge stars are surrounded by the planets, solar systems rotating around the black holes, thousands of galaxies combined to form clusters, billions of clusters made super clusters.

Tremendous gas clouds spread all over the dark universe, giving me an unimaginable view of the surroundings.

Among all of theses fascinations I asked myself, honestly- Who am I? I was lost, in my mind- middle of no ware, struggling to find the answer for this question. The more I went through the space, The more I felt myself worth less.

Among all of these wonders, I am just a small being in this universe, what the purpose of my life?
Why am I here, what should I do. so many questions arose in my mind , but I couldn't think any more, clearly.

I have returned to earth, back in my front yard again. It was getting dark, so I made my way to the bed room and lied on the bed, with the same empty feeling that I had before.

I closed my eyes slowly thinking about the unsolved questions of the life. I felt a stilling emotion.

Maybe, few minutes later, I fell asleep.
Then I could hardly remember a tiny voice float through my mind and whispering to me...

Why? Why? Why?